Jasper Fforde Quotes

Chicken fizz! O Lord, protect all of us who toil in the vineyards of experimental chemistry!

Gaseous nitrogen combines with gaseous hydrogen in simple quantitative proportions to produce gaseous ammonia.

At first, I was able to use a Bunsen burner attached to my mother's gas stove, but the use of the kitchen as a laboratory came to an abrupt end when a minor explosion involving hydrogen sulphide spattered the newly painted decor and changed the colour from blue to dirty green!

As early as 1912, we worked on the problem of the hydrogenation of organic substances with the aid of highly compressed hydrogen.

Even in the investigations into direct production of calcium peroxide in an alkali melt with highly compressed oxygen, it was found to be necessary to bring the high-pressure gas into contact with the suspension of lime in caustic alkali melt by agitation or some other means of mixing.

I started doing experiments - mostly in organic chemistry, because it was so much more interesting - in my mother's laundry at home.

I've started to think it must just be chemistry, in which case we're looking for the Shift and we haven't found it yet.

Every time you need protein, get yourself a boiled egg in. But your main meals would be chicken, or hummus, or white fish. You can lose about a pound a day. But you can do this stuff over a period of time, and you can have your happy days. It's about motivation and it has to be something that's realistic for you to keep up.

It's all about chemistry. Talent alone won't get it done.

I eat only white foods: eggs, sugar, grated bones, the fat of dead animals; veal, salt, coconut, chicken cooked in white water; fruit mold, rice, turnips; camphorated sausage, dough, cheese (white), cotton salad, and certain fish (skinless).

Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.

No hard feelings about that time in the Crucible when you mixed my salts and I was nearly blind for a day. No. No, really, drink up!

Chemistry is like an indefinable thing. When it comes to people playing your best friend or your parents or anything like that, there's always different kind of element to chemistry.

I was in Toronto when they had a severe outbreak of SARS - you know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. I was in the airport and there were these big snowboarder guys and they had white masks around their necks, and as soon as they saw me, they put their masks on. So I went "cough, cough, cough... You wanna egg rorr?

When you sing the same song over and over and over again, it stops meaning what it originally meant to you. It starts sounding like white noise, or my washing machine.

Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker," he told her. "My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray." Oh. "You get me the nicest things." "Anybody can get jewelry. Posers

It required 85 parts by weight of oxygen and 15 parts of hydrogen to compose 100 parts of water.

Dead is when the chemists take over the subject.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.

I came here with the perfect chemist's perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

Fain would I kiss my Julia's dainty leg, Which is as white and hairless as an egg.

Today was the annual Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. Usually when you see something rolling on the White House lawn it's a drunk Secret Service agent.

Chemistry on film is like chemistry in real life, it's either there or it isn't.

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?

The egg is white though the hen is black as coal...Out of evil comes good, through the great goodness of God.