Ralphie May Quotes

I'm a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I'm lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin' sensitive about jokes.

The argument by the anti-gay-marriage crowd is so absurd, so internally contradictory, and so awash in unproven assertions that it is difficult to take it as anything more than a construct cobbled together by people who just don't like those people.

I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not funny.

Hate sells.

Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.

The worst moment in my life was when I was seven years old and I discovered that there was a thing such as racism. You don't know you're different until someone lets you know.

Like, Australians definitely don't walk around dressed up in blackface going, 'Ha-ha.'

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.

You're absolutely right: Bob Grant is a racist, Bob Grant is a bigot, he's a despicable talk show host and I agree with that.

In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.

When you hear someone say something homophobic, it really ages them. It sounds old-fashioned.

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

I don’t watch TV because every time I do all I ever see is that fucking nigger.

I find that Americans completely lack sensibility and good taste. They are boring, and they all have faces like unbaked rolls.

I'm a hate figure for a certain kind of half-educated politically correct person.

And I love the hate mail I get, the unsigned, misspelled letters I get telling me to go back to Russia or wherever.

Why is our own participation in scapegoating so difficult to perceive and the participation of others so easy? To us, our fears and prejudices never appear as such because they determine our vision of people we despise, we fear, and against whom we discriminate.

This idea of me being anti-Semitic is the most ludicrous of them all.

Sarri is a racist, and men like him should be drummed out of football.

I usually say something if I hear someone I know saying something I think is racist with malicious intent.

Looking around at the faces of the home support at Gillingham, the irony was never lost on me that these people had the cheek to call me a 'freak.' Perhaps they should have taken a look at themselves first.

I know I'm prejudiced and I know I'm bigoted in a lot of different ways.

Bigotry is the disease of ignorance.

What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition.

On the one side was bigotry, ignorance, hatred, superstition, every sort of blackness that the human mind is capable of. On the other side was sense.