Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

When I was just five years old, I loved the scary layer and the symbolical power of the red cloak. I made my mom make me that red cloak, and I had to wear it on Halloween, two years in a row.

I was dressed like Darth Vader. Vader was my man, even with the villainy. He wore all black and had a deep voice; he reminded me of my uncle. I had a cheap mask-cape combo, the kind available at any pharmacy during October.

I remember visits to the local libraries and getting my own library cards as things of rite-of-passage significance.

I was the ghost-faced killer for Halloween in the third or fourth grade.

Like, my mother would have company over, and I would sing so they'd pay attention to me.

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

On Halloween, don't you know back when you were little, your mom tells you don't eat any candy until she checks it? I used to be so tempted to eat my candy on the way to other people's houses. That used to be such a tease.

I went through a phase where I watched 'Jurassic Park' every day for about 13 or 14 days after school when I was young.

When I was in fourth grade, I made a song about the part in Stockholm where we come from.

As I get older, my childhood self becomes more accessible to me, but selectively, in images as stylized and suspect as moments remembered from a novel read years ago.

During my teen years, for Halloween, I went as a registered voter.

The first pair of boots I remember owning were Puma Spiders - I still have them in a cupboard at home! They were fantastic boots. I was nine-years-old and I scored about 70 goals with them in a season.

When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it.

One day, when I was about eight years old, some kids pushed me on stage at school during a talent show because they knew I could sing.

I will plant my feet on that step where my parents put me as a child, until self-evident truth comes to light.

For whatever reason I just remembered being six years old and my parents leaving the house and trusting me to be alone. I had an older sister, I think she was supposed to babysit me but she immediately ran across the street to her friend's house.

I stood in the bay window at our house and I sang Away In A Manger. It was my first time on stage, but there was nobody watching. I just remember it was so natural and it was such a secret - like masturbating. I felt like I had to wait until everybody was gone. So I guess six years old would be my most important age, 'cause in that moment, I just knew what I wanted to do.

Inside the house, I turned on the kitchen light, revealing the photographs stuck every which way all over the cabinets, and then switched on the hall light. In my head, I heard Beck say to my small nine-year-old self, 'Why do we need every light in the house on? Are you signaling to aliens?

Year by year, the monkey's mask reveals the monkey

The biggest surprise was a picture my mom sent me, just about the time that we were about to wrap up the book, of me as a 5-year-old dressed in my first Halloween costume that she made for me. I said, "What's this? I never saw this photo." And she said, "We made you this black-and-orange Halloween costume out of crepe paper" - we were too poor to have fabric back then - "and you wanted to go as the Queen Of Halloween." And I was like, "What?" And she said, "Yeah, the Princess Of Halloween, the Queen Of Halloween, something like that.

I think it's so incredibly special to be able to try to recapitulate that feeling I had when I was sitting in that theater, as a 7-year-old. It's an extraordinary job. I'm incredibly lucky.

I've just returned from my daughter's Halloween parade at grade school. She was supergirl - and she was perfect. And, even better, she still considers boys to be made of kryptonite.

Before The Simpsons, I was 4 years old, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking before that.

The first time I can remember being on a stage in front of an audience was one that came with triumph, adrenaline and a childlike tragedy. The first time I was on a stage, it wasn't even a music concert. It was a magic show. That being said, the life I lead now isn't what you would call 'destiny'.

I gulped, then stepped over the threshold into the house where I'd lived as a boy. After eighteen long years of wandering, I had finally come home.