Dave Barry Quotes

I've always said I have nothing against a woman doing anything a man can do as long as she gets home in time to cook dinner.

Most men I know rely on women to do all the literal dirty work.

Women are dirt searchers; their greatest worth is irradicating rings on collars and tables. Never mind real-estate boards' corruption and racism, here's your soapsuds. Everything she is doing is peripheral, expendable, crucial, and non-negotiable. Cleanliness is next to godliness.

We are still proprietary over the domestic realm even as we take over new professional realms, and that is a real problem.

When men do the dishes, it's called helping. When women do the dishes, it is called life.

Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we're gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don't know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go "Hey baby? Man, it's hot as hell out here, ain't it! Look, don't worry about emptyin' that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I'm gonna go take a nap now, all right?"

The older we women grow, the more clearly we see what men really are: hypocrites, boasters, he-goats. The older men grow, the more they doll us up with every perfection.

I'd like us to deliver a little message to all the men still out there who think it's the '50s, and coming home simply means watching television with a beer.

Male supremacy is fused into the language, so that every sentence both heralds and affirms it.

A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire!

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother.

Housework is the only activity at which men are allowed to be consistently inept because they are thought to be so competent at everything else.

Ironically, women who acquire power are more likely to be criticized for it than are the men who have always had it.

In my generation, if a man washes the dishes, the older women still tend to cluster around and coo and thank him and praise him. But if a woman washes the dishes, it's business as usual, even if both man and woman have tough office jobs.

Crime is a very hard genre to feminise. If you have a female protagonist she is going to be looking after her mum when she gets older; she is going to be worried about her brother and sister; she will be making a living while bringing up kids.

I was in fact pretty much - by the larger culture, by the local culture, by people around me, by people on TV - encouraged to imagine women as something slightly inferior to men.

Apparently, the most difficult feat for a Cambridge male is to accept a woman not merely as feeling, not merely as thinking, but as managing a complex, vital interweaving of both.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

I was watching something the other day which started out with five guys walking towards you and one woman, and there you go-it's still being dominated by the male society.

It's hard for me to believe that a shy, bespectacled college graduate like Brad Meltzer who's a novelist and a father is a really setting out to be weirdly misogynistic.

Men think a woman should not have an opinion.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Women serve but to keep a man from better company.

In the 18th century, most people believed that God had ordained specific and different spheres for men and women relative to their roles in life. Some people still feel that way.

[Referring to Jesse Jackson:] ... one of that machismo group.