David Sedaris Quotes

God, I hate you,” she says. “So much. Why do boys think that it will be better to lie and tell a girl how much they loved her and how they only dumped her for her own good? That they only tried to rearrange her brain for her own good? Does it make you feel better, Cassel? Does it? Because from my perspective, it really sucks.

I see time away hasn’t made you any more charming. (Fang) Oh, I can be charming. I just choose not to. People start to think you like them, then when you stab them in the back, they take it so personally. Really pisses me off. (Thorn)

Do you know what happened the last time I loved someone?” Growled against my skin with such tempered violence that my shiver turned into a shudder. I nodded. “No you don’t.” Another lethal growl. “You only know how she died. Let me tell you how she lived— in fear. My actions horrified her, as they horrify you. My enemies exploited her, as they exploit you, so it was more than an advancing army that made her throw herself from our roof. It was me.

Her violence frightened me. She always claimed that I was the jealous one, and I was often jealous, but when I saw things working against me I simply became disgusted and withdrew. Lydia was different. She reacted. She was the Head Cheerleader at the Game of Violence.

There was one time they knocked me out and laid me in front of my mother's door. And in order for my mother not to be shocked they readjusted my clothes and they saw that nothing was rumpled and I looked very comfortable next to the apartment door, so when my mother would open the door it wouldn't be that much of a shock.

You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap.

The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even to murder, with the truth.

Abuse is the means in which violence retards love.

You know, violence, I think, knocks on everyone's door.

People want to tear me down, they were going to knife me anyway.

Through my mind, is just the horror of these people. I had been held by them, I knew how violent they were.

I was physically abused and I retaliated.

As far as I'm concerned, love means fighting, big fat lies, and a couple of slaps across the face.

It is the privilege of those who fear love to murder those who do not fear it!

Bullying is a terrible, terrible thing.

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

Any glamorous moment you might mistake me for having is always pretend.

My earliest memories are being pinned to a fence with a switchblade.

Our society has gotten to the point where we might soon become less and less shocked by any kind of violence.

It's like someone cutting up a loved one in front of you, all the time insisting they've got your best interests at heart. They're very devious nowadays.

There were also very great robberies and murder of our principal men. This was done in pretense indeed for the public welfare, but in reality for the hopes of gain to themselves

If you see the lion’s fangs showing, do not think the lion is smiling.

I was highly influenced by violence.

I was assaulted twice by Aisleyne Horgan Wallace and Janice Dickinson.

I've been beat up pretty badly back in my day.