Eoin Colfer Quotes

Wit is educated insolence.

I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mood.

Even on the most serious ballads, I'll throw in a tongue-in-cheek remark.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty.

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it.

Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn.'

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

I like joking around and being a little mischievous. Once an audience or even a group of friends realizes that you're being benevolent about it, then they're along for the ride.

Anybody who knows me knows that half the time I'm saying things with a somewhat humorous overtone.

Oh, I've never been asked a silly question in my entire life.

People are always saying, 'You use irony,' and it's like, actually, we don't use irony: we use wit and playfulness and irreverence.

I have a sense of humor, and sometimes it gets me into trouble.

Now me,” said Mr. Vandemar. “What number am I thinking of?” “I beg your pardon?” “What number am I thinking of?” repeated Mr. Vandemar. “It’s between one and a lot,” he added, helpfully.

Hamish smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Sure we can. What do you say? Pigs in a Blanket?" He leaned over the cool counter and raised his eyebrows at Gabrielle. "The only way I'll get under a blanket with you is if both of us are on fire," she told him.

Have I missed a national holiday? There must be celebrations in the streets for you to be home at this hour of the day." "I'm calling it Summerset Goes Mute Day. The city's gone mad with joy.

Well, half of half our faction.' 'In some circles they call that a quarter, Mar,' Lynn says.

You have a... remarkable memory." "I remember everything about you. You're the one who wasn't paying attention.

Bad Girl!" She chided. "I'm pretty sure Boris is a boy," I said. "Oh, I know," Mrs. Basil E. assured me. "I just like to keep him confused," Then she and Boris headed off with my future.

Banter is often a proof of want of intelligence.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

You’re not going to suck.’’ ‘‘Not at the guitar, anyway,’’ Shane said, deadpan. Claire punched him in the arm. ‘‘Ow.