Craig Ferguson Quotes

Forecasting Armageddon has become trendy of late, with a great deal of attention being given to an interpretation of the Mayan Calendar suggesting that Mother Earth is destined for doom in December of 2012.

'Apocalyptic Love,' that is pretty from the hip in the sense that, one day, Slash and I were talking - I think it was Slash and I - about the end of the world and the Mayan calendar and all that crazy stuff.

The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

When a friend of mine introduced me to the music of Luca C & Brigante I was stuck with an apocalyptic feeling, as if I were listening to the sound of a party at the end of the world. And with such strong imagery coming to mind I was only too happy to write with them when they asked. Flash of Light is about that last night on earth, a forewarning of the end of an era and a last chance to Love.

Oprah deserves the best. I am not the best when it comes to divorce. What do I know about divorce? Nothing at that time.

If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday. I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the giant snake who swallowed the sun—I’m afraid most of that was our fault. Carter and I decided we should at least explain how it happened.

If the world somehow actually ends tomorrow, let all forget about the Mayans and just agree it's the NHL's fault

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice.

Six pints of bitter, said Ford Prefect. And quickly please, the world's about to end.

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him? ~ Susan

How many times has the end of the world been predicted? The same number of times the prediction has proved false.

I'd be the last one to use the nuclear weapons, because that's sort of like the end of the ballgame.

Then you'd better listen, because me sounding like Bronte is one of the signs of the apocalypse-and if the end fo the world is coming, good deeds could earn you Judgment day brownie points.

If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it not drain one's motivation to improve life on earth while we're here?

The public is entitled to know whether or not I am married to Jack The Ripper.

What about desserts?" I asked. "If the world comes to an end, I'm going to want cookies." "We're all going to want cookies if the world comes to an end," Mrs. Nesbitt agreed. "And chips and pretzels. If the world is coming to an end, why should I care about my blood pressure?" "Okay, we'll die fat," Mom said.

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.

They say we have we created the man to end all wars; I say we have created a man to end all worlds.

He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke.

Whenever the press quits abusing me, I know I'm in the wrong pew.

They say they don't know when but a day is gonna come. When there won't be a moon and there won't be a sun. It will just go black. It will just go back to the way it was before.

I already survived one apocalypse, I don't need another.

My eye, though, is set on Miley [Cyrus].