Colin Jost Quotes

Actually, I'm a very good golfer.

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

I use this app that keeps my handicap. As professionals, we don't keep handicaps. But as a kid, I was so excited about seeing how low I could get my handicap. So that's one app I really do use a lot.

I can't even pretend to play golf.

In my life, I'd like to play more golf and, and get a decent handicap.

I play a lot of charity golf mainly. I'm a bandit 18 if I play two or three times a week.

That's the great thing about golf is you never know who is going to win. On good, tough golf courses, it brings it back to the best players. But it's always the best player that week is going to win. I mean, so it could be anybody.

I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means. I shoot 90 to a hundred or, once in a while, 85.

Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

I don't play much golf anymore. I can't - if I break 80, I'm doing pretty well.

The Englishmen is at his best on the links and at his worst in the Cabinet.

Golf is an indispensable adjunct to high civilisation.

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

If Jack Nicklaus had to play my tee shots, he couldn't break 80. He'd be a pharmacist with a string of drugstores in Ohio.

Golf is the art of driving hard, avoiding the rough, surmounting traps and hazards, aiming straight, and arriving on the green at last, only to end up in a hole in the ground before your companions. The favored pastime of businessmen and their cronies, probably without a full appreciation of its metaphorical implications.

Golf is to me what his Sabine farm was to the poet Horace - a solace and an inspiration.

Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

The only thing I fear on a golf course is lightning...and Ben Hogan.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

When things go right and you test properly and you find equipment that's better than what you were playing, then you can do some pretty neat things on the golf course.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours.