Stephen Colbert Quotes

If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing right now.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

I am drawn to humorous art that is ironic.

I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.

There's a fine line between comedy and the darkest place ever.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

I've heard too many times where people say that I'm this ultra-serious guy. In truth, I've got an extremely absurd sense of humor. I thrive on the absurd - I love it.

But in terms of satire and comedy, our biggest and earliest influence was Mad magazine.

I think at its best the American sense of humor is the same as the British sense of humor at its best, which is to be wry and ironic and self deprecating.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honesty, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot. Unless you're just listening to buzz words and not taking into account the context of the situation, you see I'm always the ignoramus.

My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends. He raised me on Spike Jones records and W.C. Fields movies, and his sense of humor fell somewhere in between.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

It just happened that the public happened to, uh, appreciate the satirical quality of these crazy things.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

My dad has a dry, deadpan sense of humor, and my mom has an unexpected, wacky take on things. They really encouraged laughing at ourselves and the weirdness of situations that come up growing up in politics.

I have always found humor in places where humor wasn't necessarily intended.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.

Take my wife... Please!

Funny is when you're serious.