Karl Pilkington Quotes

Before we go, I gotta know: If mind-reading abilities are real, there's something else I wondered if fiction got right about vampires-" "Ask me if I sparkle and I'll kill you where you stand," Bones cut him off with utmost seriousness.

I expected Dracula to come jumping out any second. If he did I'd have held up a cross, cause he's allergic to bullshit.

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Over the years all these vampire movies have come out and nobody looks like a vampire anymore.

I'd seen 'Interview with A Vampire' and saw Dracula movies growing up, but I never thought, 'I love vampires; I have to do a show about vampires.'

Important safety tip - never look a vampire in the eye.

I've noticed Dracula was often as practical a fellow as he was a nasty one.

Why do these crazy vampires keep trying to collect me?

Dracula can sustain many interpretations and exists in many phantasmal forms... and Johnny Alucard is my attempt to explore the multiplicity of Draculas unloosed on the world in the long wake of Stoker's novel.

I've loved vampires for a very long time. In eighth grade, I guess, my research paper was on vampires.

I had always liked, well, who didn't love Lestat and fall in love with 'Interview with the Vampire,' and 'Nosferatu,' and Coppola's 'Dracula' with the awesome costumes? So I loved all that.

There are two levels of vampirism: one is the regular vampire, which is just like it has always been; and then there's the super vampires, which are a new breed we've created.

Are vampires kinky? I didn't know.

I've always been a Dracula/vampire aficionado, being half-Romanian myself. Dracula has always been close to my heart - in fact, I have a first edition of Bram Stoker's book. I read it over and over again as a young kid.

I don't like vampires personally. I don't know any.

I thought, 'Who is the first vampire ever? It's Peter Murphy!'

I know about various fictional and folkloric vampire mythoses the way other people know about the personal life of celebrities.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo - which has always been something I find important.

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.

Vampires should never say Uh-Oh!!

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.

You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile.

My daughter is reading various Young Adult vampire stuff, and I ask her, "Is there even a bad vampire in the story?" There's always a good vampire now, but do any of them sleep in coffins? And I would bring her down to my library and say, "Here's every classic vampire literature. There are coffins, there's this, there's that," you know? "When you get to the YA stuff, you may try some of this stuff just to see where it came from."

You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires.

Eric followed Vlad Tepes’s stubby finger, identifying me as the future Happy Meal. Then he stared at Dracula, looking up from his kneeling position. I couldn’t read his face at all, and I felt a stirring of fear. What would Charlie Brown have done if the Great Pumpkin wanted to eat the little red-haired girl?