Patrick Rothfuss Quotes

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

Sometimes a witticism has no truth behind it.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Most people try to avoid cliches. It's my ambition in life to try to get 'em right!

I know only two words of American slang, 'swell' and 'lousy'. I think 'swell' is lousy, but 'lousy' is swell.

A lot of truth is said in jest.

That's an old saying I just made up.

An epigram is but a feeble thing - With straw in tail, stuck there by way of sting.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I really didn't say everything I said.

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'

I'm really high... I mean the altitude of course.

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and said "I have good news. You have severely underestimated that door over there. By like a hundred percent."

I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.

Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."

Irony gives us, at little expense, the impression that we are experienced psychologists.

Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.

The goodness of your true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister.

"You are fairly smart," I said after a while. "You are fairly good at compliments," he answered.

An epigram is a flashlight of a truth; a witticism, truth laughing at itself.