Neil Patrick Harris Quotes

I've had a Ph.D. in saying dumb things over the years.

These stories about my intellectual capacity really get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, 'Intelligence Briefing.'

My girlfriend just told me I am one of the smartest people she knows. I told her, You need to meet other people.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

I'm really great at making terrible analogies.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

I'm just not very funny.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

I don't think I'm funny.

I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.

My type of humor is me not caring whether people know what I'm talking about or not.

Dressing up, for me, is looking like an idiot.

When I grew up, people said, 'You'll never be the man your dad was.' And I said, 'Gee, I hope not.'

I like smart, funny, self-deprecating men.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

The only thing I know how to do is be funny - that's it.

Me and the Rock do look a lot alike, and we're a similar build - that was a joke, by the way.

I think I'm funnier in my writing than in person.

If you set the attractiveness bar really low, people have to compliment you on your looks when they meet you in person. I'm pretty much a genius. I'm actually applying to work at the Genius Bar based on this trick.

I never thought I was funny.