Harland Williams Quotes

Anger's not a good emotion.

Every person I talk to has a story about how their smoke alarm went off or woke them up with a battery beeping. So you take it off the wall and you take the battery out and say 'screw this.' They hate the products.

Money means better meals at better places.

I hate it when people say, Mary Elizabeth, this may be hell, but the movie is going to be sooo good.

David Sedaris is so good that it makes me mad.

If the first requisite for writing well about food is a good appetite, the second is to put in your apprenticeship as a feeder when you have enough money to pay the check but not enough to produce indifference of the total.

I didn't bring my headphones, I'd watched the two movies they had played and I was just like, 'Can we please find a donor that wants to give us a private jet? This is not Okay.'

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it!

We were saving, saving, saving then going to France and blowing the money eating. She was a nurse and had never experienced fine dining but she loved it, too. Our mates thought it absurd.

Look, maybe I'm just not good at multi-tasking and am, therefore, jealous of those of you who can get in a workout while yammering on your cell phone, but for the love of all that is good and pure, shut your yap!

Inconsiderate, rude behavior drives me nuts. And I guess the inconsiderate rudeness of social ineptitude definitely fuels my work.

I hate wasting time or money and that happens all the time for no good reason, and then people save money by skimping on the important things.

I love really good food and I don't ever want to spend too much for it, but I like hanging out and having really good, tasty, interesting food.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

I have more pet peeves than anybody: people talking in the movie theater, people eating in the movie theater loudly, people being rude, people making noise when you're supposed to be asleep, like drilling noises outside. I could be here all day.

About 25 years ago, I was in an apartment, and next door, they put on the radio, so I struck the wall with my fist, but they did not put the radio down. I took a tool and banged until I made a hole through the wall. It was like a comedy movie.

You want to see an angry person? Let me hear a cell phone go off.

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.

The idea of being stuck in a plane with dozens of people chatting over each other on their phones might feel like Dante's 10th circle of hell.

Quit shouting those rerun songs at me.

People annoy me when they say, 'Oh, you made a fortune.'

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

I've actually eaten in The Ivy in London. I love their shepherd's pie.

It can be a bit of a hindrance when you walk into a restaurant for a quiet meal and one or two launch into 'psycho, psycho'!

My first date has been...mythologized as 'Bieber's Dating Disaster.' I took her to a buffet restaurant. Yes, I wore a white shirt. Yes, I got spaghetti.