TOMMY CHONG

But you can't exercise and be high. It's impossible.

The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail.

To be in a situation where you have no rights whatsoever is something I wish everybody could experience. People's attitudes would change. It would be a better place.

Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred.

Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say.

You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it.

Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya.

A lot of prophets have gone to jail.

I've been a good boy, I've never really been convicted of serious crime.

When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian.

I was more of a weightlifter.

Well I don't know, I might have lost my citizenship, I don't think you can lose your citizenship though.

I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls.

Everything that happens to me is very cosmic.

They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable.

Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world.

I love to meet my fans, and after every show I usually hang out for a few hours, talking to my fans, signing autographs, and selling T-shirts.

Well, I had an after hours club in Vancouver and when any of the Motown acts would call.

I know the musical world as well as I know the comedy world.

Activism, to me, I don't know if it really works. It may work for somebody else, but it does not work for me.

'That '70s Show' was one of the highlights of my life. I didn't expect to be on it as long as I was.

I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight.

Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.'

I've met a lot of jazz musicians in my day, and they're all funny.

The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil.