David Letterman Quotes

Presidents are not elected in these crowded halls, with cheering thousands. They are elected by the fireside in November.

Human beings are the only species that deliberately deprive themselves of sleep for no apparent gain. Many people walk through their lives in an underslept state, not realizing it.

It's important for Republicans to nominate someone who not only has a vision of how to create jobs, but who has done it. That's why I am endorsing Texas Governor Rick Perry for President.

We need a commander in chief not a professor of law standing at a lectern - the lectern.

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. Standing on the edge of something much too deep.

[Donald Trump] just would not be in his element and I think he would wobble off course and I think the country just can't have that.

I have trouble sleeping, at the end of the night. There's a lot of stimulus and my brain is processing a lot of different arcs and personalities. I'm always processing things, so I don't sleep.

America has become so tense and nervous it has been years since I have seen anyone sleep in church - and that is a sad situation.

I fell into a deep sleep tucked in that little cocoon, a deeper sleep than I might of had in years. Right up until someone kicked me and said "Gotcha!

[Bill] Clinton remained in campaign mode the first years of his first term.

Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.

I can't sleep very well at night. It takes me a while to get to sleep. I could just be nocturnal. I have my nighttime witching hour where I hang out, listen to records or watch TV.

I've been waiting for sleep to offer up the day with both hands.

When I was going through menopause, I didn't sleep. I didn't sleep for two years and ended up blowing out my thyroid, and I became nonfunctional. It's difficult to remain fully present if I'm not getting enough sleep, so I work at getting enough.

In the end of 2012 no one looks back on this year and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep

Donald Trump didn't know the [Democratic] vice presidential candidate he was running against: Tim Kaine [Senator] of Virginia, Donald! Not Thomas Kean, Republican [former Governor] of New Jersey, you moron! And his answer to absolutely every question is so simplistic and grand: "Oh, I'll fix it. Trust me. I'm the best fixer. I love to fix!!! Look at everything I've fixed before!!!!".

Running for president must be like having babies. You have to forget what it was like the last time before you want to do it again.

It was daunting at first. I did have insomnia for two weeks.

I have an immense appetite for solitude, like an infant for sleep, and if I don't get enough for this year, I shall cry all the next.

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes.

In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she's not qualified to be President?

Thank God [Donald Trump] said I was a politician because Aristotle defined the human person as 'animal politicus.' At least I am a human person. As to whether I am a pawn, well, maybe, I don't know. I'll leave that up to your judgment and that of the people.

We've got blue light, we've got all this light flooding our bedrooms and things blinking, and you can't get a decent night's sleep.

Donald Trump is interesting to people. He's intriguing. But they want to see that Donald Trump in the White House. And he's getting there and he's going to pivot there.

The people are phenomenal. You know my theme is 'Make America Great Again' and I think it can be greater than ever before. But if we have four years of Hillary (Clinton), I don't know if we can ever come back.