Damon Runyon Quotes

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

Inquisitiveness is an uncomely guest.

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!

If food did not exist it would be well-nigh impossible to get certain types off the phone, as one would be unable to say, 'Look, I've got to run but let's have dinner sometime soon.'

Comfort comes into your house first as guest, then as a host, then finally as the master.

Guests are the delight of leisure, and the solace of ennui.

Courtesy demands that you, when you are a guest, shall show neither annoyance nor disappointment--no matter what happens.

My evening visitors, if they cannot see the clock should find the time in my face.

If it were not for guests all houses would be graves.

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden."

The most indispensable qualification of a cook is punctuality. The same must be said of guests.

Holly McGhee said I should come to dinner with them. That first dinner, I said something pretty smart-alecky, and Alison [McGhee] laughed really hard at it. It made me happy.

Now if you went to someone's house to look for them, you would be a psychopath.

It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go, and to keep one back who is eager. You ought to make welcome the present guest, and send forth the one who wishes to go.

To be an agreeable guest one need only enjoy oneself.

Uninvited guests seldom meet a welcome.

It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

When we ever invited the beast to dinner he didn't come in and swipe the napkins and start taking notes on the tablecloth 'bout how to take over the whole house?

A guest is really good or bad because of the host or hostess who makes being a guest an easy or a difficult task.

Burt Reynolds, great sex symbol of the movies, who said, I owe it all to one great part. Never got a dinner!

In every human being one or the other of these two instincts is predominant: the active or positive instinct to offer hospitality, the negative or passive instinct to accept it. And either of these instincts is so significant of character that one might as well say that mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.

if you live in New York and you have a guest room, you have guests. So I think it's best not to have a guest room.

Misfortune is never invited. And it comes and sits at the table without permission and it eats, leaving nothing but bones.

Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're all gone. I'm out. Have a nice delusion. -Shayne