PAULINE PHILLIPS

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who walk into a room and say, 'There you are' and those who say, 'Here I am'

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young must seek advice and counsel from 'Dear Abby' instead of going to Mom and Dad.

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.

Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.

The less you talk, the more you're listened to.

Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for piping. And the Piper!

So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!

Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores - it's called partnership.

In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.

Then, there's the modern mother-in-law. In her mid 40s, she is the compact car of her breed: efficient, trim, attractive and in harmony with her times. She's pretty stiff competition for the plain young matron who's overweight and under-financed. If there is going to be friction in this relationship, it could start from envy and resentment in the younger woman. But Father Time is on her side, even if Mother Nature played her a dirty trick

Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to "prove their love" like a moose needs a hat rack.

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don't live up to the expectations we have of them.

Kids grow up awfully fast these days,"she said. "You should try to have a good relationship with your kids, no matter what they do.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Fighting fire with fire only gets you ashes!

Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.