NIKKI GLASER

I wasn't a good-looking child. I got screwed out of the genetic deal. My sister looks like a model. I think that's why I'm a comic. I'm deeply insecure, since I was always feeling ugly. I wasn't a healthy child. I had poor self-esteem. That's why I need people's approval.

I don't feel the same pressure to be perfect up there that I did in the beginning.

My standup is years and years of me working things out on the road. I'm really proud of it! A lot of it is about, well... I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like every special or show I do is some variation on how I feel like I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

I was lucky enough to find stand-up really early in life. And I'm so grateful that I did, because the second I found it, I was like, 'I know what I want to do'.

Just sharing things that are either embarrassing or possibly relatable, searching for that laugh so that someone makes me feel less alone. Like, 'Oh, they laughed, so they get what I'm saying.

My logic used to be if I get angry at my boyfriend, he could say, 'Well, if that thing I do that I don't want to stop doing makes you mad, I don't need to be with you. Bye!' And then he'd leave me. Forever.

I would much rather be someone with high self-esteem and less funny.

My sister was very, very beautiful and I was very not. Doing comedy is the greatest thing ever because you don't have to do that, and I've since learned to let go of that.

My boyfriend and I are not good at fighting. We're better than we were when we started dating - two breakups and three years ago - but it's never come naturally to either of us. I have often wished we fought like I imagine Pink and Carey Hart fight.

I won't tackle something like furries, because there's nothing new to say. Also, I won't do anything that I think will put my life at risk.

All my life - middle school, high school - I've always been worried what are people going to think.

I like putting myself in uncomfortable situations.

Everything I write in my show is a collaboration with a team.

All my relatives and friends have been pretty aware of my brand of humor for a while, so none of them have been shocked.

Some of my favorites include 'Walking the Room' and 'Never Not Funny' and 'FitzDog Radio', Greg Fitzsimmons' podcast.

I was going to go to a Gathering of the Juggalos but decided that wouldn't work. They would know I was there to make fun of them. It would be like me going to a Trump rally.

I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe.

I've been saying inappropriate things since I was a kid.

I have to say that it's fun to write for young girls, and it's exciting to know that we're influencing them and they're looking at us like, 'I want to grow up and be like them.' I mean, I just made up the person saying that.

A lot of being a woman in this business is about how you look... That's not why we're even in this business; that's not what people want from us. We're valuable because we're funny and because we have a voice and a point of view.

The best stuff - the most interesting stuff - usually happens when I allow myself to be in the moment and working from that space.

I remember thinking years ago about getting a half special, 'When you get that, that will be it. That will be all you need to feel validated in this world.' I feel like that special was just another set.

As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation.

I love what I do, but living in one place for an entire year and not being on the road constantly was glorious. The road lifestyle is not ideal for a woman who's about to be thirty.

We just learned about this fetish where guys just give women money and know that they are spending their money. It's not like a sugar daddy thing. It's like financial domination, or something like that. These guys just want to give you money.