JOSHUA MALINA

Any celebrity that goes on Twitter and spouts off, as if we should care what they say, is opening himself or herself up to ridicule by anyone else.

You can never entirely rest comfortably with Michael Black or Michael Paynes.

I'm incapable of truly relaxing. I remember when I was younger and less wise or experienced, actors that I knew would always talk about jobs ending and wondering whether they were ever going to work again. Now that's my life.

I knew I wanted to be an actor, and my mother said, 'Call Aaron Sorkin.' It seemed dubious that I'd make it as an actor by calling Jews I knew, but it worked.

I actually have, in all seriousness, in the back of my mind someday to write a book, the title of which would be 'Quit Now and Other Practical Advice for the Aspiring Actor.'

'Backwash' is an old-school, slapstick-y romp between three eccentric loser friends who inadvertently rob a bank, armed solely with a salami and a sweat sock, and then find themselves on the run pursued by singing cops. It's kind of a classic piece, a sophisticated piece, if you will.

It would be a disappointment for me to take a job, as often happens, having to shoot out-of-town and not where I live.

Now everybody's got a video camera, so go make videos with your friends or see if you can get a part in a film school thing that's being done.

Aaron Sorkin has been incredibly good to me; I don't know that I would have an acting career without him. Thanks to him, people think I'm smart and nice, but I'm neither.

I always wanted to be an actor. It sort of prevented that whole - I never had any of that kind of angsty period old and doing musicals at camp and community theater and plays at school; it was just always what I most enjoyed and always what I intended to pursue.

For better or worse, I have a lot of vaudeville circus skills that you just can't showcase in Aaron Sorkin's work.

I grew up and I was weaned on the Marx Brothers. They were sort of my all-time favorite. My parents showed me their movies when I was very young. And as I got older, I became a Charlie Chaplin fan, and I love Buster Keaton.

I won't divulge the details, but there's a way to call somebody's phone and have whatever number you want appear on the caller I.D. so that the call you're making appears to be coming from someone else.

I've been on plenty of things that never took off, and I've been on one thing, 'The West Wing,' that was a big hit, but took off well before I was on it.

My dad is a very good sounding board. He's very, very smart. Both of my parents are very, very sharp, much smarter than I, I'm happy to acknowledge.

I plan someday to do a one-man show based solely on the e-mails of Bellamy Young. And people will think I've written a brilliant comedy myself when, in fact, all the text will be directly from Bellamy.

My dad in particular I tend to use - I call him 'The Brain.' If he's accessible, I'd rather put it through his brain. My wife, Melissa, maintains that the closer he is in proximity to me, the less I think for myself. And I think she's actually correct. So anything worth mulling over, I will mull over with my father, and that includes ratings.

I like the concept of escalating warfare, but you need someone to fight back in order for things to escalate. If there's no confrontation or argument going on, it's too dull for me. I think that's the nature of the prankster: Things are too quiet. What can I do?

I delight in embarrassing somebody else.

I tend to not wallow too much in sentiment if I can avoid it.

I like to get my 10,000 steps in.

'Scandal,' I sort of experienced the ascent and the transition from a modest start to a full-blown hit.

With 'Scandal,' I was there from the beginning. I got to experience the transformation from its initial slow start to the water-cooler hit it became. I have thoroughly enjoyed the ride, and am deeply grateful for it. I can't believe how often people stop me on the street to talk about it.

As far as exercise, I play a lot of lacrosse and rugby, and I'm an avid distance swimmer. Nope, none of that is true. I do walk a lot, though.

I'm proud of my work, and I try my best.