I'd rather be in my house crying than be sitting with someone talking about shoes, y'know?
Okay, outside," the clerk said. "Conversation outside. Bye! Have a nice night!
I'll just be sitting down having dinner with girlfriends or something and people come up and ruin the dinner.
People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
People going off on politics on Grindr is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. That's an immediate sign to run in the other direction.
I shout at the radio when someone starts talking over the end of a song. Shut up! I don't want to hear that the DJ has just found a mouldy sandwich in the corner of the studio. Nor do I like it when the magic of something you're watching is shattered by an advert for Argos.
If ever you want to get rid of somebody you don't want to talk to, just mention God. They're out of there.
I so wanted out of this conversation, but it was like a car accident: Once you started spinning, you could only wait and see what you hit.
I didn't know it at the time, but Hitch didn't want to talk to me - he hated meeting with people he might have to reject. As it turned out, someone, maybe his agent, insisted that he interview me.
It doesn't matter if you're religious or not. Does anything make you feel more uncomfortable than some stranger going, I'd like to talk to you about Jesus?
Always keep a big bottle of booze at your side. If a bird starts talking nonsense to you in the middle of the night pour yourself a stiff drink.
