Tourist Trap, Tourist Traps Quotes

I've been to Disneyland, like, 10 times. I'm getting really tired of Disneyland.

I think I learned years ago when I went to Hawaii that you don't bring puka shells back. You've got to be careful of your vacation purchases.

I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

When I was a teenager, I went on an organised three-day tour of Rome. It was the worst experience ever. I promised myself that I would never travel like that again, with someone telling you what to see and what not to see.

I'm done with Vegas. I hate Vegas.

I used to live above Manganaro's, when old Times Square was still peaking, and it still had a lot of diners and theaters on the forty deuce, as they used to call it. It was full of character. And it wasn't Disneyland. Now it's so touristy and full of bright lights, I can't stand it. It's like going to a big mall.

Bangkok, like Las Vegas, sounds like a place where you make bad decisions.

David Attenborough has said that Bali is the most beautiful place in the world, but he must have been there longer than we were, and seen different bits, because most of what we saw in the couple of days we were there sorting out our travel arrangements was awful. It was just the tourist area, i.e. that part of Bali which has been made almost exactly the same as everywhere else in the world for the sake of people who have come all this way to see Bali.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

I've been to L.A., it's horrible. Don't waste your money on the flight.

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

A little bit of this town goes a very long way. After five days in Vegas you feel like you've been here for five years.

Historic Amsterdam, that old part you first see when you turn up at Centraal Station, may have its monuments, but it's also the most tawdry and overcrowded part of the city.

Slow travel now rivals the fly-to-Barcelona-for-lunch culture. Advocates savour the journey, travelling by train or boat or bicycle, or even on foot, rather than crammed into an airplane. They take time to plug into the local culture instead of racing through a list of tourist traps.

Traveling these days has a lot of problems and also it wears you out more.

Welcome to Suckersville, man.

I visited a new cultural center in Shanghai in 2005 that was pretty much perfect, except for the really badly translated Chinglish signs: a handicapped restroom that said 'Deformed Man's Toilet,' that kind of thing.

I have never done a package tour in my life. It appeals in a way, but then I remind myself that you can't control the other people with you, which could turn out to be ghastly.

For most visitors to Manhattan, both foreign and domestic, New York is the Shrine of the Good Time. "I don't see how you stand it," they often say to the native New Yorker who has been sitting up past his bedtime for a week in an attempt to tire his guest out. "It's all right for a week or so, but give me the little old home town when it comes to living." And, under his breath, the New Yorker endorses the transfer and wonders himself how he stands it.

I found Jerusalem to be a tourist trap. I hope that I don't offend anyone by saying that.

Las Vegas is a great place to be from, not to live in.

Yeah, I had an idea to make a very scary movie, based on a kind of serial murderer that preys on tourists.

You can drink out of Lincoln's nose. They got the Hard Rock t-shirts. They got Elvis, too.

I envy people who can just look at a sunset. I wonder how you can shoot it. There is nothing more grotesque to me than a vacation.

I had my fortune told once at the Great Wall of China. A withered old lady told my fortune - but it was probably one of these things that are set up to rip off tourists. She told me a couple of vague things that came true, but she was probably just lucky. I would never do it again.