I was not only a terrorist, but I was terrorized by my beliefs since I had to gain enough merit and good deeds to go to heaven but never was sure if my good deeds would outweigh my bad deeds in the scale when I would be judged by God, it was taught to us that to die fighting the Jews would ease Allah's anger towards my sins and I would be secured a good spot in heaven with beautiful wide eyed women to fulfill my most intimate desires, so either way through actual attacks on Jews, or if I were to be killed in the attempt, I would win – terror was the only way.