Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
Marriage is the flimsiest weapon against desire. You may as well take a pop-gun to a python.
If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?
I was married at the time when I first joined the band and my wife said: 'Why don't you write a song about me ?' So I wrote 'She's got balls'. Then she divorced me.
This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does.
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.
I was afraid of marriage. I had the impression married life would take up all my time. I saw myself drowning in visits and parties. No freedom.
I found marriage somewhat stifling. I don't know that I am the kind of man who ought to be married.
The trouble with marriage is that, while every woman is at heart a mother, every man is at heart a bachelor.
It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"
I have not made any plans for the future, and my wife would kill me if I announced anything before that.
Marriage was never a dream or an ambition for me. I thank my real mother for the fact that - unlike my sitcom mother - she never put any pressure on me or my sister to marry.
Eccentricity may be diverting, Mama, but it is out of place in a wife: certainly in my wife!
In late marriage alone lies the compulsion to retain an institution which, twist and turn as you like, is and remains a disgrace to humanity, an institution which is damned ill-suited to a being who with his usual modesty likes to regard himself as the 'image' of God.
People have notions of what a wife's role should be in this process, and it's been a traditional one of blind adoration. My model is a little different - I think most real marriages are.
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Women naturally desire the same six things as I; they want their husbands to be brave, wise, rich, generous with money, obedient to the wife, and lively in bed.
Comic-strip artists do not make good husbands, and God knows they do not make good comic strips.
I didn't have any high aspirations. I just went to Mumbai to get a job after I married Mridula. I thought if I didn't earn, my wife will criticise me.
Mahesh didn't want a working wife; he was clear about that. He wanted time given to him and, later, to the kids.
