Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split.
How powerful social mores are! Only a spider's web lies across the volcano, yet it refrains from erupting.
It is commonly observed, that when two Englishmen meet, their first talk is of the weather; they are in haste to tell each other, what each must already know, that it is hot or cold, bright or cloudy, windy or calm.
It takes far more courage to violate a custom than a law.
Ceremonies are the outworks of manners.
The way of the world is to make laws, but follow custom.
… a country's laws are written upon paper, and that its customs are engraved upon brass. One may play with the one, but not with the other. It is less risky for a stranger to dance upon our Constitution in the public square than to affront one of our solidified customs. The one is merely eminently respectable, the other is sacred.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, 1835-1910
No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
For earlier similar sentiments see Plato and William D'Avenant {312586}.
I have no social position and I stay away from what is known as society as much as possible.
Custom has furnished the only basis which ethics have ever had.
The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we must steadfastly refuse to obey those laws, and we must as steadfastly stand by the conventions which ignore them, since the statutes furnish us peace, fairly good government, and stability, and therefore are better for us than the laws of God, which would soon plunge us into confusion and disorder and anarchy if we should adopt them.
As manners make laws, so manners likewise repeal them.
Experience supplies painful proof that traditions once called into being are first called useful, then they become necessary. At last they are too often made idols, and all must bow down to them or be punished.
Therefore, a person should first be changed by a teacher's instructions, and guided by principles of ritual. Only then can he observe the rules of courtesy and humility, obey the conventions and rules of society, and achieve order.
All ceremonies are in themselves very silly things; but yet, a man of the world should know them. They are the outworks of Mannersand Decency, which would be too often broken in upon, if it were not for that defence, which keeps the enemy at a proper distance.
Avant-garde art jousts with propriety, but takes care never to unseat it.
We've surrounded the most vital and commonplace human function with a vast morass of taboos, convention, hypocrisy, and plain claptrap.
The late Estee Lauder says you can never wear white shoes after Labor Day. But of course, in today's world, that does not exist.
Art has no other object than to set aside the symbols of practical utility, the generalities that are conventionally and socially accepted, everything in fact which masks reality from us, in order to set us face to face with reality itself.
Marriage was never my goal, because I've never been very traditional.
No, traditions and norms aren't rules in the Constitution. There's a difference between a tradition and a law.
What's appropriate in America anymore?
It is perfectly right for a gentleman to say "ladies and gentlemen," but a lady should say, "gentlemen and ladies." You mention your friend's name before you do your own. I always feel like rebuking any woman who says, "ladies and gentlemen." It is a lack of good manners.
In social matters, pointless conventions are not merely the bee sting of etiquette, but the snake bite of moral order.
Respectability is a very good thing in its way, but it does not rise superior to all considerations. I would not for a moment venture to hint that it was a matter of taste; but I think I will go as far as this: that if a position is admittedly unkind, uncomfortable, unnecessary, and superfluously useless, although it were as respectableasthe Church of England, the sooner a man is out of it, the better for himself, and all concerned.