Relationship Irony Quotes

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I think there was a time in my life, probably in college, that I wished every guy was gay because it meant more women for me! I don't know what everyone's problem with it is. I wish everyone was gay! That's always the way I thought about it. I have no issue with it. If I have to suffer through marriage, why shouldn't they?

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

men love their wives not because of their virtues, but in spite of them.

I'd been told that he had been created-literally created-just for me,as my "perfect other half." Let me tell you-if Dylan was my perfect other half, then i needed to give my first half a seriouis look-see.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

I always remembered that when I saw people get married they got on a rocketship and went to Planet Happiness, Population: Them.

There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.

A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

My wife has great taste in everything but men. The vast majority of the songs on my debut album, 'Traveller,' came from lists she made.

Ruth and I are happily incompatible.