When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado's a redneck with a gun and all this stuff.
You might be a redneck if your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.
You might be a redneck if your momma tore her best dress coon hunting.
You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.
You might be a redneck if an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger changed your life.
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
You might be a redneck if your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
You might be a redneck if your biggest ambition in life is to git that big ole coon. The one what hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn.
You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You might be a redneck if you go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You might be a redneck if you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You might be a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
