pet responsibilities Quotes

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

In a dog's life, some plaster would fall, some cushions would open, some rugs would shred. Like any relationship, this one had its costs. They were costs we came to accept and balance against the joy and amusement and protection and companionship he gave us.

I love dogs and cats, but I don't want to be the guy who says, 'I'm going to Brussels for a while; can you take Poochie?' Or even worse, I could be the guy who takes Poochie to Brussels with him - then I'm really in trouble.

Should have dogs before they have kids. Everybody.

What I like about a dog it stops people getting after you, they're not going to come round in the night. But they make the place stink because I might want to stay out a few days and when I get back I might want to stay in a few days and a dog can become a tyrant to you.

I have a cat, the pet that ranks just above a throw pillow in terms of required responsibility.

Oh, and I’m also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you’re in St. Louis.

The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.

Dogs have important jobs, like barking when the doorbell rings, but cats have no function in a house whatsoever.