Internet Humor Quotes

I'm still kinda old-school. We're twittering, and we're all twitterers. And we write tweets. The only thing I don't love is twits.

I don't know if the art of stand-up will survive. Stand-up seems dated. Now you can do a mini-movie or a short with a beginning, middle, and end. A guy standing there seems a little old - especially when you can go on the Internet and see 'Funny or Die.'

Dear motorist on the information superhighway. I'm sorry I do not have a car.

Goat screaming videos are hilarious.

Today Carly Fiorina announced that she is running for president. Someone else bought 'CarlyFiorina.org' and posted 30,000 sad emoticons to represent all the people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard. I haven't seen that many sad, blank faces in one place since the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.

I love making fun of YouTubers.

People say the Internet's made of cats. The reason isn't because of cats; it's because people like to have an emotion where they say 'aww' all at the same time.

It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art.

I'd heard comedians working MySpace into their routines and giving out their URLs as early as 2004.

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

I do see things that are funny on the net. I Googled myself the other day and found out that I was worth $250m, and that I was the highest-paid guy in show business! I wish so hard it was true. It is, of course, the complete opposite. I'm neither rich nor do I make a lot of money.

I started out poking fun at this YouTube thing.

Twitter makes you a comedian in the same way that digital cameras make you a photographer

I would love to do something like 'Tosh.0,' where I host Internet clips. I did host 'Talk Soup,' which is similar. I love doing that, making fun of video clips on the Internet.

If I were a snarky Reddit user though, I would say, hypothetically, that that would just be like reading Reddit's Front Page a day later. But I'm not going to go there.

I love making jokes on the Internet.

My influences are a wide variety: from Dave Chappelle stand-up comedy specials on YouTube, to watching chick-flick comedy movies, to scrolling through stuff people say on the Internet.

There was a clear lesson here — and that was that the Internet loves Mister Splashy Pants.

I think the fans of the old-school Internet shorts were a little bit older just because it was racier material.