If my husband's going to kiss anybody, let it be Matt Damon.
He's quite extraordinary with his moves and spins. I think he was a baton girl in a past life [on his co-star Hayden Christensen].
Holly McGhee said I should come to dinner with them. That first dinner, I said something pretty smart-alecky, and Alison [McGhee] laughed really hard at it. It made me happy.
As Anthony said to Cleopatra as he opened a crate of ale: "Oh, I say, some girls are bigger than others, Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!
If I wanted to be a celebrity, I would have taken guitar lessons.
Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning.
My nickname is Bondy. But not because of the Bond films - it was my surname a long time before I did those.
I can see! So this is the sky! So this is blood! So this is the world! So this is what you look like, Komamura. You are uglier than I thought." -Kaname Tousen (I'm sorry to say but this quote had me laughing so much XD)
[To her frequently needed plumber:] How would you like to be adopted? I'm sure it would be cheaper.
E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap.
What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
Mornin' ladies, my goodness don't you look happy. Must be cuttin' somebody up pretty good.
This week's winner for best comedy line about the war is New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer. Referring to - well, it doesn't really matter what he was referring to.
I never had any problems with the players. I would say that my English is better than Gary Lineker's Spanish.
