I don't have a problem with my body. I don't diet, and I'm not hiding anything. I'm not going to be the subject of a movie of the week 10 years from now.
For years I was an undiagnosed anorexic, suffering from a little-known variant of the disease, where, freakishly, the appetite turns in on itself and demands more and more food, forcing the sufferer to gain several stones in weight and wear men's V-necked pullovers. My condition has stabilised now, but I can never stray too far from cocoa-based products and I keep a small cracknel-type candy in my brassiere at all times. Fortunately, I wear a 'D' cup so there is plenty of room for sweetmeats.
Seeing Donald Trump run for and then win the presidency only enhanced my commitment to helping people free themselves from ridiculous body standards and disordered eating so they can use their gifts for more fulfilling things, like being of service and enjoying this beautiful world.
Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Gluttony, or, as we call them these days, "getting in touch with your sexuality," "raising your self-esteem," "relaxation therapy," and "being a recovered bulimic."
When I went through my eating disorder, I never sought medical assistance. I created myths in my head about how I should get through things, so the idea that I could surround myself with truth and feel comfortable enough to speak mine allowed me to breathe.
I have a very, very healthy relationship with food in that I eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I never restrict quantities or types of food.
I have a history of eating disorders but, as a mother, you think of being an example to your child. I'm so much more balanced than I was.
There are so many people who have eating disorders or who body shame themselves every day or have some sort of insecurity, and I feel like I have a direct reach to some of those people.
With modelling, there's nothing to work on other than losing weight. I definitely had an eating disorder.
I wasn't strong enough to have an eating disorder. I tried to go anorexic for a good three hours. I ate ice and celery, but that's not even anorexic. And I quit. I was like, 'Ma, can you make me a sandwich? Like, immediately.'
And dieting, I discovered, was another form of disordered eating, just as anorexia and bulimia similarly disrupt the natural order of eating. "Ordered" eating is the practice of eating when you are hungry and ceasing to eat when your brain sends the signal that your stomach is full. ... All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering. If you can accept your natural body weight and not force it to beneath your body's natural, healthy weight, then you can live your life free of dieting, of restriction, of feeling guilty every time you eat a slice of your kid's birthday cake.
It was very hard for me to come back to a place of feeling normal about food and about my body. And then, when I came to the other side of it, it felt like something was gone. An exorcism. I still experience the same chemical swings and moods and pain, but I'm much better at dealing with it than I was at 18.
There are a lot of eating disorders in our sport, so I try very hard not to get consumed by all that.
I just listen to my body. If I get too full, OK, I'm done. If I feel like, man, I've got to eat. I just listen to my body.
I don't believe in depriving myself of any food or being imprisoned by a diet.
I didn't want to get back into the whole industry. I left overworked, overwhelmed, and not having any control over my life. I was bulimic and needed to heal.
I suffered from eating disorders when I was just a kid. I did not like me or the way I looked. But back then, you could not tell anyone.
A little bit of anorexia, a little bit of bulimia. I'm not totally OK now but I don't think any woman is.
I had a really hard time when I was 16, 17, 18. I started with the eating disorder in high school.
I love healthy stuff and junk an equal amount. Whatever I'm craving, I go for it. I'm never trying to lose weight - or gain it. I'm just being.
I've learned, after 18 years of gathering information, to eat, then check in with my body - how do I feel? I've learned to eat whatever makes my body feel good. As a teenager, I was just so confused, overwhelmed by all the information.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, and yet so many Americans are left to fight this battle without the coverage, support, and resources they need.
Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses, not lifestyle choices.
I think about food all the time, so making peace with eating is a daily battle for me. I won't say I've completely figured it out, but I will say that right now, I win that battle more days than I lose it, and I believe that's the key.
