There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
I actually think the subject of young divorce is pretty funny; I'd like to write a movie about it.
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
The best love advice I've ever received is probably, 'I'm not leaving the relationship; I'm just leaving the house.'
I think I was only divorced once, and the rest were annulments. Or, maybe not. I can't keep track actually, because it's not that important. I just am who I am.
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.
Having been engaged rather a lot of times, Zsa Zsa Gabor was asked whether a lady should give back the ring. Her answer? "Of course dahlink, but first, you take out all the diamonds.
Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles.
Certainly nobody gets married wanting to get divorced or even expecting to - except me.
