Culinary Disappointment Quotes

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

"It wasn't the wine," murmured Mr. Snodgrass, in a broken voice. "It was the salmon."

I think my biggest heartbreak was when I just couldn't get an American cheese cake/pie with a saltine cracker crust and green tomato sorbet to work out in my favor.

Eating in Sweden is really just a series of heartbreaks.

The French fried potato has become an inescapable horror in almost every public eating place in the country. 'French fries', say the menus, but they are not French fries any longer. They are a furry-textured substance with the taste of plastic wood.

I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.

Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.

We're out of cocktail olives, it's a tragedy of historic proportions, but we're coping because we're Americans.

I would love to eat a really great burger, but it doesn't exist in our part of the world.

And you understand something: that although, like all American eaters, you've been conditioned to think of the entree as the climax of the meal, it never is. It is, indeed, almost always disappointing, especially if you order fish.

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, 'Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.'

This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.

If there's anything I like better than honey and ketchup, it's baloney and whipped cream --- and we haven't got any!

My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!

You walk into a restaurant when chefs are not there and it's different. The magic isn't there. Why pay top pounds when the chef is not in the house? I feel cheated. I don't mind paying big money for food but if I go to Paul Bocuse's restaurant I want Paul in the house.

I despair of the Republic! Such dreariness, such whining sallow women, such utter absence of the amenities, such crass food, crass manners, crass landscape!! What a horror it is for a whole nation to be developing without the sense of beauty, and eating bananas for breakfast.

It is a very poor consolation to be told that the man who has given one a bad dinner, or poor wine, is irreproachable in private life. Even the cardinal virtues cannot atone for half-cold entrees.

What? Sunday morning in an English family and no sausages? God bless my soul, what's the world coming to, eh?

A warmed-up dinner was never worth much.

A cheese may disappoint. It may be dull, it may be naive, it may be oversophisticated. Yet it remains cheese, milk's leap toward immortality.

A connoisseur of gastronomy was congratulated on his appointment as a director of indirect contributions at Periguex: and, above all, in the pleasure there would be in living in the midst of good cheer, in the country of truffles, partridges, truffled turkeys, and so forth. "Alas!" replied with a sigh the sad gastronomer, "can one really live at all in a country where there is no fresh sea-fish?"

I'd like to have a word for 'the sadness inspired by failing restaurants' as well as for 'the excitement of getting a room with a minibar.

Life was like a batch of biscuits without the baking powder: flat, flat, flat.

If you don't like airline food, you'll probably have the same impression of space station food. I would not fly to space for the food.

I ate a big steak in 1988 and never felt worse. That was it, boom, over. Never again.