Conditional Behavior Quotes

I am really nice. But not in the cage.

The typical imperative from biology is not "Thou shalt... ," but "If ... then ... else.

Imma go to Starbucks in the morning for some coffee, if it ain't no girls there i won't buy no damn coffee!

My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.

Dad didn't wear the guns unless a report card came in that he didn't particularly dig.

Although I may not be a lioness, I am a lion's cub, and inherit many of his qualities; and as long as the King of France treats me gently he will find me as gentle and tractable as he can desire; but if he be rough, I shall take the trouble to be just as troublesome and offensive to him as I can.

Always obey your parents - when they are present.

Parents must get across the idea that "I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior."

You are a wicked motorcar, and I shall not give you any more petrol until you go.

It's not sticky unless it touches itself.

God's grace is so counterintuitive and everything we do in our life is just based on conditions. You do this for me and I'll do that for you. Or if you don't do this for me, I won't do that for you. And God's grace works in a completely different direction.

I am according to my slave's expectations of me: if good, then good, and if bad, then bad.

If it's easy to be friendly she will be. If the wind blows the other way her friendship will be gone. And I'm thinking the wind is blowing the other way. She has found some other way to be an important person in her own right by hating others.