Alcohol Impairment Quotes

You can't write drunk.

Many people - and I think I am one of them - are more productive when they've had a little to drink. I find if I drink two or three brandies, I'm far better able to write.

Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.

I think a guy who's had just the right amount of booze can sing the blues a hell of a lot better than a guy who is stone sober.

I am very good at keeping secrets, except when I am drunk, when I will tell you absolutely anything.

If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober.

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

It's always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there's no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him.

One time I had too many Heinekens and I googled myself and realized that that was a very, very bad combination.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.

There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Jamie," I said, "how, exactly, do you decide whether you're drunk?" Aroused by my voice, he swayed alarmingly to one side, but caught himself on the edge of the mantelpiece. His eyes drifted around the room, then fixed on my face. For an instant, they blazed clear and pellucid with intelligence. "och, easy, Sassenach, If ye can stand up, you're not drunk." He let go of the mantelpiece, took a step toward me, and crumpled slowly onto the hearth, eyes blank, and a wide, sweet smile on his dreaming face.

Nobody, at least sitting in my seat , is defending drunk driving. I am not for drunk driving.

Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.

More people die on a per mile basis from drunk walking than from drunk driving.

I go out with a lot of British people. Some of them say I sound a little tipsy.

It seemed that I performed better sober than drunk. Who knew?

Please don't drive drunk, okay? Seriously... But by all means, walk drunk. That looks hilarious. Everyone loves to watch someone act like they are trying to make it to safety during a hurricane.

You can't drink too many otherwise you can't see what you're throwing at.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Sit, be still, and listen, because you're drunk and we're at the edge of the roof.

And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning and get it out of the way. Then go driving while the visibility is still good.

I'm tearing down Route 80 East, the sun's on my right side. I'm drunk, but my vision's good.