I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."; "Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one."; "If you drink long enough, at some point you will vomit up the lining of your stomach."; "Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman."
Because these kids get away from their parents, and they binge drink until they are sick. Dozens of them are going to the hospital, and some of them dying. This is a problem, a big problem that needs to be addressed, and we need accurate information.
Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke? Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.
Faculty met, and after the usual business, some conversation was had about certain students being addicted to drinking, and it was reported that a citizen of the village had informed a member of the Faculty that there was a good deal of drinking this term among the students.
I think I misunderstood the following in the footsteps bit, in a few of my early drinking years. I'd take any form of being compared to Dad as flattery. So if I fell off a stool or smashed up a TV set just because I was drunk, and somebody in the bar went 'Hey, man, that was just like Bonzo!' I would be really happy.
Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
I will never have a sip of alcohol and get behind the wheel again. Regardless if I'm 300% sure that I just had a sip and I can drive. It doesn't matter.
