Will Rogers Quotes

You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it.

I don't need a president with a bucket list!

Calling the New York State Legislature “a circus” is inappropriate. Circus animals are very intelligent.

In any operation as large as that of the federal government there are always going to be anomalies, mistakes and peccadilloes. The trick is to incite so much public (or at least media) outrage about them that the government has eventually to cut its losses rather than risk continued political damage.

I am a writer—a comic and satirical writer. I am much better at poking fun at politicians who screw up than I am of telling them what to do.

The right to insult members of the government is inviolable.

There is nothing more frightening to a political satirist than an honest administration.

If we have a mediocre Congress—even when it manages to accomplish something—it is because of the people in it and the culture they have created.

Democracy divides the population into two groups: those of us who complain about government and those of us who are complained about.

… once you acknowledge the fact that Congress is after all made up of citizens elected to represent all of us, you must have some faith in their framing common sense laws.

If members of Iran's parliament are prevented from criticizing the judiciary, then they should close down the parliament.

What public men, whether in or out of office, must avoid, is the making of predictions. This is what is called, in their own language, " committing themselves," and is never done without the greatest caution and necessity; and, therefore, whenever public men choose to put themselves at issue with the ministers, and hazard predictions, they become from that moment entitled to the praise of superior wisdom or not, just as their expectations are or are not verified by the event.

The Republican National Convention was a rage-athon featuring a parade of hemorrhoidal has-beens.

I'm not a political comic.

I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience.

Obama isn't funny.

I think politics is extremely funny in and of itself.

I do enjoy Dennis Miller, I do enjoy Chris Rock when they do their political humor, but it's never been my goal... I love relatable humor.

Not all Tories are atrocious heartless fiends, I concede. But those who wield hunger as a weapon while claiming their own meals on expenses, are beyond satire.

In Washington, you have imaginary problems, and they can't even solve the imaginary problems.

I see myself primarily as a comedian, and my aim on the 'Last Leg' is to be as funny as I can about the news.

I stay far away from political humor.

Politics is a thing that is kind of the same over and over and over again. But we have to find new ways of poking fun at it and letting the air out of people and satirizing things that are worthy of satire.

If you've never seen me perform live, I'm a must-see. I'm very funny. I have a different perspective sometimes on a lot of what I do and the world itself, especially America.

I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.