Bob Mortimer Quotes

I became friends with a lot of chefs. I was a judge on 'Top Chef' last year. It was a dream come true.

My first job was four words in 'Family Matters.' It was huge!

I've done all of them except for Oprah. My shoes were on Oprah but they ran out of time so I wasn't on. I left my shoes in Chicago so they could put them on the show.

I was a huge 'Friends' fan. I had a very small part. I played a real-estate agent in the very last season.

I have been invited to do something called 'Celebrity MasterChef' in England, which, of course, I can't do. It's complete nonsense. You have to be a decent cook to begin with. I'd be the joke one.

I'd only do Big Brother again if you paid me three times as much money.

I haven't done 'Celebrity Poker Showdown,' and I would love them to have me, but I think I'm not a big enough celebrity yet to get on there.

We are not really privy to all that crazy stuff that goes on in the show. I go to work, eat, and talk about food. The wild things happen when we aren't around. I expected Top Chef to last three or four seasons and we are now shooting season ten.

The first time I ever actually had a line was on 'A Different World', my best friend Cree Summer's show. I was in L.A. visiting her, and she said, 'Hey, there's a walk-on part, why don't you audition for it?'

I watched the first week of 'Hell's Kitchen'. It was fascinating to see Marco Pierre White because I've only ever seen him in moody photographs.

The 'Road Rules' thing was just something that happened. It was never like when I was little I said, 'I want to be on a reality show when I grow up.' They didn't even have them then, you know?

I actually reached out to my agent about appearing on 'The Good Wife.' The main character of the show went to Georgetown and that's where I played my college ball so there's a small connection.

I was honored to have the chance to perform on 'The Bachelor.'

I remember sitting on my couch on a Saturday watching reruns of 'The Real World.' And it said, 'Do you want to be on 'The Real World?' Go to MTV.com, and you can try out there.' And I said, 'I want to be on 'The Real World.'' And I sent in my tape.

It thrills me to get the chance to have my face on 'Inside Edition.'

At first, when my agent told me, 'They want you to do an interview, a piece for '60 Minutes,' I was like, 'What is '60 Minutes?''

My agent called me and said, they watched you do Chopped Champions and they thought you'd be good for this competition. What do you think? And I said, well, what do you think? He said he thought it would be great and I said let's do it. When you decide to do this, you don't really think that you're going to win it. I thought it would be fun, good to test my mettle; games are fun like that. Why not? I'll try it.

I think whoever does sign up to 'Strictly,' I feel like it's such an amazing show because they want to be there.

I understand that there's going to be a shelf life for 'Jersey Shore.'

I've never been unfaithful outside 'Made In Chelsea.' I don't care what the reputation looks like. I was unfaithful on that television show because it's a show about that. I'm not saying it was acceptable behavior, but the show wouldn't work without relationships failing. In real life it's completely different.

You can choose, you can go one of two ways. You can be the person I probably admire more and say 'well I don't care and I'll continue not to bother to brush my hair.' Or you can be a weak-willed person like me and think 'oh I'd better get my act together. And maybe my mother was right and I do need to put my hair back and tidy myself up a bit.' So I did tidy myself up a bit. But I do often resent the amount of time that it takes to pull yourself together to go on TV, I really do. If I sound bitter, then that accurately reflects how I feel about the subject.

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.

In the sacred precinct of that dwelling where the despotic woman wields the sceptre of fierce neatness, one treads as if he carried his life in his hands.

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

I wanted to be on American TV so much. I didn't park DJ'ing; I just sort of ended up becoming more of a studio guy. I had a bit more money and I could buy every little piece of equipment and drum machine that had just come out - I've got quite a collection now - and I continued to collect music.