Gretchen Rubin Quotes

I just don't believe that you have to come in and insult people when you want to change things.

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

I'd rather lose an argument than get into a long discussion in order to win it.

The most important guideline when it comes to argument is the golden rule. If someone were addressing your point, what tone, what overall approach would you find persuasive and want her to use? Whatever that is, do it yourself.

I simply do not think that yelling, swearing, threatening or belittling will get you to the place you want to be faster than kindness, understanding, patience and a little willingness to compromise.

It is an excellent rule to be observed in all disputes, that men should give soft words and hard arguments; that they should not so much strive to vex as to convince each other.

We can argue and we can disagree, but we don’t need to poke our fingers in each other’s eyes in order to get our points across.

The key is that when we disagree, we really hear the other one out and agree that there is a more elegant solution than one of us 'winning.'

Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly.

If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secrete of getting along - whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.

At one time or another, we have all faced the temptation to disconnect by giving someone the silent treatment. After being married to Joel for more than twenty-one years, I have learned that is not the best way to handle a disagreement.

We cannot have that relationship if we only dictate or threaten and condemn those who disagree.

The most difficult thing to do is to communicate the positive.

I have disagreements with some and more agreements with others. But that doesn't mean I cannot listen to those I disagree with.

You can disagree without being disagreeable. That's always been my mantra.

We need to stop telling each other to shut up. We need to get comfortable with the reality that no one is going to shut up.

It's important to learn how to have conversations with other people where it's not debating but discussing.

I don't believe that using inflammatory rhetoric on either side of a debate is productive.

I think you kind of facilitate civil conversation no matter how heated you think it could get by telling everybody and showing them that you mean what you say when you value all sides.

If your first objective in the negotiation, instead of making your argument, is to hear the other side out, that's the only way you can quiet the voice in the other guy's mind. But most people don't do that.

I feel like anything can be worked out; you just gotta talk through it as adults.

That most dangerous of opponents: the one who took pains to comprehend the position of his adversary.

Arguments are healthy. They clear the air.

I enjoy the debate... I haven't met a single person in Congress yet that I dislike. It's not about moderating your views: it's about being able to talk about them and defending them in a way that's uplifting to people.

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. And I do it with adults now.