Sarah Shahi Quotes

Whasthat!" "Um ... those are the toilets.

I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they're laughing.

I was in preschool and a girl actually kissed me on the cheek. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what it meant, so I instantly grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips. And, then I got suspended.

Sometimes when I'm on the phone, someone will say, 'Yes, Mr. Yeoh.' And I'm thinking, 'I'm not Mr. Yeoh, man.'

On my first trip to Havana, I was stopped by a woman who turned out to be a Canadian tour guide and who had mistaken me for a woman who had been part of one of her tour groups.

One character mistook me for the model and remarked 'That Man-Tan sure works wonders!' That ain't Man-Tan. I'm tan, man. From my head to my toes.

Dont talk to the crazy kids. I longed to shout back that we weren't crazy. I'd mistaken her kid for a ghost, that's all.

But his words fall away. He looks confused. He looks flustered and sorry. Like you do when you run up to someone you think you know and take her arm and she turns around and you were wrong.

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

It's annoying when people confuse you with the character.

A moment later, Liam's bright blue eyes opened, and he was seeing me. He just wasn't seeing Ruby.

How does Usain Bolt know you? You're just my soccer coach.

I've got a black woolen hat and it's got Pervert written across the front of it. It's the name of the clothing label. And I was with my wife and my baby at the supermarket and I didn't think. I just put my hat on Clara's head, because it was cold. And the looks. I couldn't figure out why I was getting death looks. And then I realized my 10-month old baby's wearing a hat with the word Pervert written on it and these people were like, 'There's Satan! There's Satan out with his kid!' And then I made a point of her wearing it every time we went there.

I'm spinning records and I look across the restaurant and I see somebody who looks Asian. And I'm like, "Yo, that looks like Yoko Ono." I'm like, oh, I can just meet - that's going to be great. Then I look carefully and I'm like, "That's not Yoko Ono, that's Bruno Mars." And it was Bruno Mars. That just happened recently. I was bugging out. Because that was totally not Yoko Ono at all.

Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

Demon?” Gwen gasped out. Her back jerked ramrod-straight, and her face leeched of color. “Did you just say demon?” Oh, uh…did I say that?” Strider once again glanced around the plane helplessly. “No, no. I think I said seaman.

Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.

I thought the two ugly ones were sisters, but they got very insulted when I asked them. You could tell neither one of them wanted to look like the other one, and you couldn't blame them, but it was very amusing anyway.

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

Changing from a player to a coach, I felt like a mosquito in a nudist colony. I didn't know where to begin.

I will never forget my first game for England at the World Cup, It was against Turkey... no I mean Tunisia.

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

It is a mistake to confound strangeness with mystery.