Dave Barry Quotes

I did not use a Cayman Island entity to avoid paying taxes for myself.

Father was the most unreconciled taxpayer I ever knew.

Most large companies structure their affairs so that they minimize their tax payments. As long as you do it within the law, it's OK.

The avoidance of tax may be lawful, but it is not yet a virtue.

That’s why the tax code is so long [76,000 pages]. So we can take advantage of it.

I'd think people would want me to follow the law and pay only what the tax code requires.

If something looks like a tax avoidance scheme, then that's probably what it is - and there's lots of clever people working day and night to close them down.

We don't have any miraculous way of avoiding taxes at Wesco and Berkshire.

I know a lot of wealthy people that have never been audited.

Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag

Even with multiple instruction books, maneuvering the maze of the tax code is costly and time-consuming.

The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

I don't blame anybody for using the tax code to their advantage.

This idea that you're a successful tough guy if you evade taxes and deceive the state has got to change.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward.

It's not Apple's fault that they're seeking to avoid paying taxes. They're not lying, cheating or stealing. They're following the rules that were created by governments. If the government doesn't like the rules, they can change them.

As American taxpayers know too well, the tax code is incredibly complex and compliance is all to expensive.

Yes, the rich will find ways to avoid paying more taxes, courtesy of clever accountants and tax attorneys. But this has always been the case, regardless of where the tax rate is set.

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

I got five kids - I claim three for income tax purposes.