Terry Pratchett Quotes

Politicians always criticize each other in different ways.

If I were to say you are crazy, what part of that would you find unacceptable?

It's hard to confront someone without knowing, [but] I think the first thing you should do in a relationship - any kind of relationship - is confront. Then, if they seem shady, maybe go for the email or the text message.

Much contention and strife will arise in that house where the wife shall get up dissatisfied with her husband.

If you think you know what I'm doing wrong well you're gonna have to get in line.

The people you love are just weapons that will be used against you.

I say Gibson, we're old friends, and you're a fool if you take anything I say as an offense. Madam your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me!

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

You and me?” I let out a stunned bark of laughter. “There is no you and me.” “That’s what you think,” Chaz says, tugging on his coat. “And I’ll be damned if I’m going to wait around until you figure out that isn’t true.” “Fine,” I say “I’m not asking you to, am I?” “No.” Chaz is smiling… but not like he’s happy. “But you would if you had the slightest idea what was good for you.” And with that, he yanks open the door and storms through it, slamming it closed behind him with enough force to cause the windowpanes to rattle. And then he’s gone.

A hint of a frown touched his mouth. “I told you that wasn’t about feeding.” “No, it was about you making your point.” I skewered a bite and chewed. “Next time, maybe use something other than my jugular as your Exhibit A?

I doubt you can understand the magnitude of the stupidity in your statement

It's wonderful to be hated by idiots.

Criticism is the forerunner of divorce, the cultivator of rebellion, sometimes an agent that leads to failure.

Husband, we talked about this," Persephone chided. "You can't go around incinerating every hero. Besides, he's brave. I like that." Hades rolled his eyes. "You liked that Orpheus fellow too. Look how well that turned out.

Rosemarie you are out of line

Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus

I won’t snatch, harm, or scare to death people with you or use checking up on you as an excuse to cause trouble. You’re worse than my mother, Rachel.” “Mine, too,” Jenks muttered.

I am sweet, I am ugly, I am mean if you love me. I'll try hard just to please you, when I say I don't need you.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.

Ridicule more often settles things more thoroughly and better than acrimony.

I’m not going anywhere with you, you little shoemaker,” I said (Rachel to Trent)

You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend. And how are things on Planet You Wish?