Ray Romano Quotes

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

I'm not in a position to tell anyone anything about how to live his or her life, but I think it's worth noting that no one can lie to us as effectively as we can lie to ourselves. We know exactly what to say! And I do think that women, even extremely smart women, can be very, very vulnerable to men.

The intention of never deceiving often exposes us to deception.

I did not deceive you, mon ami. At most, I permitted you to deceive yourself.

See, when you lie to me it hurts," Rixon said, swiping an imaginary tear. "I thought we had something special. I thought our joint eternal sentences of damnation were our bond.

Everybody lies about sex. People lie during sex. If it weren't for lies, there'd be no sex.

If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you aren't really good at it, but why put an old man in that position?

See you tomorrow,” he said, instead. “All right.” Then, impulsively, I asked, “Do you have a place to sleep tonight?” “Sure,” he said with a smile, and started off as if he had somewhere to be. I could have bitten off my tongue because I pushed him into a lie. Once he started lying to me, it would be harder to get him to trust me with the truth. I don’t know why it works that way, but it does—at least in my experience.

The worst thing about being lied to, is realizing they don't think you're worth the truth.

But why do you want to talk to me?' He is going to say: 'Because you look so kind,' or 'Because you look so beautiful and kind,' or, subtly, 'Because you look as if you'll understand....' He says: 'Because I think you won't betray me.' I had meant to get this mean to talk to me and tell me all about it, and then be so devastatingly English that perhaps I should manage to hurt him a little in return for all the many times I've been hurt.... 'Because I think you won't betray me, because I think you won't betray me....' Now it won't be so easy.

She wants to believe my excuses so bad. Every time I lie, she wants to believe me so much.

Lie to me, I promise to believe. Lie to me, but please don't leave.

If someone's lying about something small, you don't know what else they're lying about. I'm a big girl, I can handle the truth - even if it's not good news.

The only people who make love all the time are liars.

I was a little ham and was a very open kid, probably because I was around adults all the time. That also forced me to grow up fast, and I learned at an early age about how people lie and deceive each other.

Weaklings must lie.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

I always find the worst lies are told in relationships - I learned to never lie about your happiness in order to save someone's feelings from being hurt.

No one can be happy who has been thrust outside the pale of truth. And there are two ways that one can be removed from this realm: by lying, or by being lied to.

I always sensed instinctively from the earliest age that I was being lied to.

The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.

I like, though, that people have a hunger to connect with other people. They're desperate to know that you're not lying to them or misleading them.

If someone lies, well, you had a choice to trust that person or not. I think the way my father raised me, well, he trusted everybody. And that worked for him.

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.

One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived.