Patrick Marber Quotes

I have a tough time with stand-up because I am an improviser. I can riff; I can do crowd work, so I don't prepare.

I do love live performing, but I'm not a stand-up naturally, and I don't like the lifestyle of working just in the evenings at clubs and stuff - not a natural gig-er.

If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny.

You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.

Someone who didn't do comedy might think it was awful to have someone talking about you. But I just love the attention, even if I'm not there.

Stand-up is an amazing art form, I think, because it's all about you having complete control of the situation, but absolutely none.

Stand-up, I find it really difficult. It's not really my thing.

I don't get many hecklers now but answering them is an art form in itself.

You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them.

I love comedies. I love watching them. I think I've always been afraid of being on them a little bit.

Stand-up is live, so I'm used to being live for most of my career. It's interesting.

You say a line and you wait for them to laugh, then you say another line and you wait... It felt weird to me. But it's interesting and the energy is almost like theatre, I suppose, with all the people there.

I could never do stand-up because it's that thing of having to get up on stage. And out of every 10 jokes you tell, nine of them have to get a really good response.

I don't really like doing big stand-up. Whenever I do theaters, I don't like 'em. I don't think they're right for stand-up. I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.

I've been doing stand-up since '89.

With stand-up, it doesn't matter who you are. If the audience claps because they love your movies, that clapping stops after five seconds, and then it's your job to make them laugh.

I will always do stand-up, even if my acting career takes off. Stand-up is my life.

When you're a stand-up, you play in front of 600 people, and it's all about timing. I could never do stand-up comedy; it would be way too hard for me.

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

Once you become a comedian, you accept that people are just going to yell stuff at you.

If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room; you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything. I've written lots of material, but how do you memorise 90 minutes? That's one hell of a long speech. I've always had problems with that.

I do miss the rhythms of comedy. And I've never been able to perform very well without an audience. The sitcoms I've done had them. It was like doing a little play.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

I'm not a stand up at all, it's such a fear of mine. My sister does it, and she's really great at it.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.