Pete Holmes Quotes

I love Tig Notaro; I just think she's so awesome.

The difference between you and the funny person on TV is that they acted on their ideas.

You know, stand-up comedy is where I pretty much started out.

As long as there's Big Momma, we're going to bring you comedy.

I was at dinner with Gene Wilder and imitated Ethel Barrymore for everyone.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.

I'm really not an actor of any kind. I've always seen myself as an entertainer, someone who makes people laugh. That's all I've ever wanted to do. 'Doctor Who' has always just been me, really.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

Anything that I can do with Jennie Garth, I would love to do it. I really like her. I got along with her really well, and I enjoyed her perspective on life. I think she's really talented and very, very funny.

In fifth grade, we had to write a story and read it in front of the class. When I read mine out, the class were just belly laughing. And I remember being like, 'This is the coolest!' So I want to dedicate my life to trying to make people laugh. I can't imagine doing anything else.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

I've got a great sense of humor, and if I'm able to say or do something in a movie that people feel like they want to repeat, that's hugely flattering.

I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

I will always love to perform standup comedy.

Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years.

Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least my economic package.'

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl.

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

You make 'em, I amuse 'em.

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.

I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine.

I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

I love Jason Bateman. He's so funny.