Jerome K. Jerome Quotes

For some reason, cats are usually addressed familiarly, though no cat has ever drunk bruderschaft with anyone.

Pet the cat dude," says Sam. "She brought you a present. She wants you to tell her how badass she is." "You are a tiny tiny killing machine." Daneca coos. "What's she doing?" I ask. "Purring!" says Daneca. She sounds delighted. "Good kitty. Who's an amazing killing machine? That's right. You are! You are a brutal brutal tiny lion! Yes, you are.

He [the cat] wound himself around her legs, purring the purr of ardent desire like a kettle coming to a boil and then bubbling very fast.

Cats don't caress us-they caress themselves on us.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

Most cats do not approach humans recklessly. The possibility of concealed weapons, clods or sticks, tend to make them reserved. Homeless cats in particular-with some justification, unfortunately-consider humans their natural enemies. Much ceremony must be observed, and a number of diplomatic feelers put out, before establishing a state of truce.

The cat jumps up on the bed and tries to get onto my head. It's his way of telling whether or not i'm dead. If i'm not, he wants to be scratched; if i am - he'll think of something

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

I'm a cat, and you have to earn my trust.

A cat likes to hear you calling him. He sits in a bush a yard from your shoes - and listens.

The more you rub a cat on the rump, the higher she sets her tail.

It is a difficult matter to gain the affection of a cat. He is a philosophical, methodical animal, tenacious of his own habits, fond of order and neatness, and disinclined to extravagant sentiment. He will be your friend, if he finds you worthy of friendship, but not your slave.

Cat's are unpredictable. It is a fine line between the cure, inquisitive and innocent creature resting on our lap and the hissing, spitting and deranged banshee it might become at any moment. This is why we're trying always to win their love.

So you know cats are interesting. They are kind of like girls. If they come and talk to you it's great. But if you try to talk to them it doesn't always go so well.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you.

A cat understands how to be pleasant in the morning. He doesn't talk.

Cats aren't special advisers. They advise us all the time, whether we want them to or no.

The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on you than beside you.

Cats have intercepted my footsteps at the ankle for so long that my gait, both at home and on tour, has been compared to that of a man wading through low surf.

With Cats, some say, one rule is true: Don’t speak till you are spoken to. Myself, I do not hold with that — I say, you should ad-dress a Cat. But always keep in mind that he Resents familiarity. I bow, and taking off my hat, Ad-dress him in this form: O Cat! But if he is the Cat next door, Whom I have often met before (He comes to see me in my flat) I greet him with an oopsa Cat! I think I've heard them call him James — But we've not got so far as names.

In truth, most of us don't know our cats.

Cats, I always think, only jump into your lap to check if you are cold enough, yet, to eat.

I can say with sincerity that I like cats... A cat is an animal which has more human feelings than almost any other.

Many a cat can only be lured in by switching off all the lights and keeping very still. Until the indignant cry of a cat-locked-out comes at the door.