Paul F. Tompkins Quotes

I've signed four autographs for Sam Worthington in L.A., and I haven't told any of the people that I'm not him.

I always have a Sharpie, because usually when someone asks me for an autograph, they don't have a pen. I carry one in my purse, as well as in my tennis bag.

I've signed a few sneakers in my day.

I have my own autograph pads.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

Always give an autograph when somebody asks you.

Faked enthusiasm is worse than bad acting - it is bad acting with the intent to deceive.

Well, you know, it's fun to sign autographs still for me. I don't sign that many.

I did ask Matt Damon for his autograph - and I got a picture, too!

No, I don't autograph blank slips, checks, or stickers, and certainly no books without me in them.

I always do book signings with the same blue pen. That way, if I add a personalised message to a book I've already signed, it'll be in the same colour as my signature.

Anyone who speaks in the name of others is always an imposter.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

It's always been kind of weird to me because when you give someone an autograph, you're looking down at a piece of paper and once you sign it the person moves on.

When somebody wants me to sign an old picture, it's like looking at another person.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

I've never asked a player if they would sign my shoe.

I'm not here to perform. I'm here to sign autographs. You have to wait till I come back with my own hand.

He seemed like such a nice old gentleman—I gave him my autograph as a souvenir.

Just a couple of minutes ago, I signed a couple of bowling pins for some people. That's a normal thing. Somebody will hand me something and say, 'Draw a picture! Draw the Dude!' They're probably selling them on eBay or something.

I think I've had 16 books that purport to be a biography of me. I've never cooperated with someone.

Charlie Sheen gave me a signed headshot. I think it said, 'Keep it real.' But 'real' was spelled 'reel,' like a film reel.

Nine books have been written about me, and there's not a word of truth in any of them.

Marlon Brando came up to me many, many years ago. He wanted me to do a little doodle for him on the back of an airline ticket.

An Isaac Mizrahi fashion-show ticket signed by Steven Meisel. I rushed up to Meisel at the end of the show and asked him to autograph the card that had his name and seating assignment on it. It was an incredible moment when he shot the autumn/winter 2014 Moschino campaign.