Matt Groening Quotes

If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.

I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.

I'm sort of the comic relief after a hard day at work. My message is that it's OK to relax.

Comedy is important! When you're having a stressful day, and you come home, you want to watch something that makes you laugh.

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

My wife and I take what we call our Friday comedy day off. We watch standup comics on TV. The raunchier the better. We love Eddie Izzard.

Have a little fun. A few laughs.

After a long day at work, I want someone to come home, turn on my video and think, 'Oh my God, how girls get ready? This is hilarious. I love this; I'm forgetting about all my problems.'

My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile.

I think that's my personality, to have a good laugh and not to take myself too seriously. And of course I have my things on the court but when I'm off the court I just like to have fun.

People need to laugh and turn their brains off.

My idea of working out is drinking whiskey - instead of beer.

Sometimes on a tour bus, we watch comedy when it's slow.

There is no bad time to laugh. I always joke, even five minutes before a game. It's not bad to stay a little immature.

I love dry British humor. I love to sketch in my off time. I love tequila.

I'm one who will go and have a beer with my pals on a Sunday afternoon. I'll go on a Friday night and have an hour with my pals, lads that I've knocked about with for 20-25 years.

I would like a comedy. A comedy would be nice.

I've got a lot of friends with whom I discuss jazz.

I try to not take myself too seriously and just have fun when I'm not playing.

I'm happy watching 'The Simpsons' at home.

I still like to think I have a pretty good laugh with the other guys in the dressing room and still enjoy a beer and the odd night out.

Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell Cognac.

I drink a lot of everything; beer while watching football. I have a taste for whiskey, but Jack Daniels and ginger is about as fancy as it gets with me.

Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.