Clive James Quotes

Si's beard is really awkward. One side is longer than the other, and it's about three different colors. I don't think he washes it. It's nasty.

I'm not that involved in personal grooming. But I try not to be offensive to people.

For a week I did not take off my mechanic's coverall day or night I did not bathe or shave or brush my teeth because love taught me too late that you groom yourself for someone you dress and perfume yourself for someone and I'd never had anyone to do that for.

West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as sharp as their looks. Except for the fact that they all speak English pretty well, they're indistinguishable from Americans.

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Some men over-tweeze their eyebrows, and it's just too perfect. Men are meant to have kind of a bushy brow. Too much aftershave is also off-putting; it's one of my pet hates.

Appearance is something you should definitely consider when you're going out. Have your girlfriend clip your nails or something like that.

I'm always having to be told to brush my hair.

I did sleep on the floor of my office sometimes. I didn't brush my teeth as often as I should have. I think my hygiene has improved quite a bit.

I'm not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I'm kind of a mess.

If you start eating with your mouth open - I can't stand it! I was out to dinner with a girl, and she started chomping on her food. You could see everything she was eating. I was like, 'So when do you want to go home?'

I'm horrible to live with. I don't clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet.

I hate a man who looks dirty.

I do take care of myself; I get my nails done, and I have a skin doctor, but that's it. I'm clean and groomed.

It's true that French are not very sophisticated in the sense that they don't dress up for dinners. They are not like Americans, where they are always perfect - the girls are not very sporty; they don't take care of themselves as much as Americans, who always have very white teeth and are so fit.

The finger lick is just a really bad habit - I do it all the time. My wife Ashley is going to kill me if I do it at dinner one more time. I look like an animal about to dig in.

When I met people they said, 'You do look like a hobo, but you smell really good.'

I'm on a billboard in Times Square, but my bathroom is still dirty, and I have toothpaste on my face.

For my own poor part, I go to great lengths to keep my nostrils sightly.

If a guy looks in the mirror more than I do it's a bad sign. I like scruffy, but not smelly.

Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

I could better eat with one who did not respect the truth or the laws, than with a sloven and unpresentable person. Moral qualities rule the world, but at shorter distances, the senses are despotic.

A night-cap deck'd his brows instead of bay,- A cap by night, a stocking all the day.

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.