Gertrude Stein Quotes

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

I'm the kind of actor who has ventured into escaping from me.

If I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said.

Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind.

I feel undefinable actually.

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'

I never understood a word John Cassavetes said. And I think he did that deliberately.

On the road from the City of Skepticism, I had to pass through the Valley of Ambiguity.

I went up a straight crooked lane and, I said 'No thanks, yes if yer please.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third.

I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Always say 'no pun intended' to draw attention to the intended pun.

I would engage in a sort of syntax destruction that would sound like I was answering the question but actually was not.

Sometimes when you finish a book, you don't know quite what you've got.

In the name of Bacon will you chicken me up that egg. Shall I swallow cave-phantoms?

"I see nobody on the road," said Alice. "I only wish I had such eyes," the King remarked in a fretful tone. "To be able to see Nobody! And at that distance too! Why, it's as much as I can do to see real people, by this light."

What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

I never met a girl I didn't meet

HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?

The words in this book are all phooey. When you say them, your lips will make slips and back flips and your tongue may end up in Saint Looey!

What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.