STANLEY A. MCCHRYSTAL

When you go through some controversy and you see your face on the news in a negative way for 48 hours... you doubt yourself. And your friends make the difference. They become a safety net that come in and say, 'That's not the case.' And the relationships that you've built... come to the fore.

There is only one Army in which you serve. When that identity is gone, it is gone forever.

Strength is leading when you just don't want to lead.

President Obama had voiced strong support for the effort in Afghanistan during his campaign, pledging to add two brigades, which he did. But since the inauguration... the administration had signaled that the U.S. commitment needed careful assessment, and we needed to recalibrate the strategy and objectives.

I want the American people to understand, we have a clear and focused goal: to disrupt, dismantle and defeat Al Qaeda in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

In June 2010, after more than 38 years in uniform, in the midst of commanding a 46-nation coalition in a complex war in Afghanistan, my world changed suddenly - and profoundly. An article in 'Rolling Stone' magazine depicting me, and people I admired, in a manner that felt as unfamiliar as it was unfair, ignited a firestorm.

One of the great things about America is we should not judge until we know the facts.

I don't miss the bureaucracy of being in the Army. But I still love the relationships you can build. And it doesn't have to be in military service - it can be anything you're doing with someone that matters. You develop a bond.

Like leaders in many walks of life, my business has been to serve with, and for, others.

My very identity as a soldier came to an abrupt end. I'd been soldiering as long as I'd been shaving. Suddenly I'd been told I could no longer soldier, and it felt as though no one really cared if I ever shaved again.

The winner of the next war will be he who learns the most and learns the fastest.

It’s hard to cut a deal if you don’t know who to make a deal with.

The Afghans are scared. Some are scared that the Americans will leave. Some are scared that the Americans will not leave. They are scared of the Taliban. They are scared of predatory government.

We were sowing the seeds of our own failure by this growing rage. We have no idea how Afghans resented that.

I don’t know how many foreign fighters we captured who had come to fight because of Abu Gharib.

Some people say torture doesn’t work. I do not know whether it does or not. … The reality is the effect it has on you. When you become the torturer, something happens to that force … it has a corrosive effect over time. You move down a path that is difficult to come back from.

People tend to simplify things.

We toppled the Taliban government in Afghanistan without thinking of what is next.

We were under resourced and understudied .

Wars are won in people’s minds. The Army must think it won and the people decide.

Leaks are so damaging because they undermine trust.

If you talk to a British officer or NCO about the strategic objectives of the end state, you'll often get a spirited discussion that's very well informed.

Many leaders are tempted to lead like a chess master, striving to control every move, when they should be leading like gardeners, creating and maintaining a viable ecosystem in which the organization operates.

When I became commander of the Joint Special Operations Task Force, I was leading thousands of individuals, from Special Forces to the broader interagency effort. I quickly realized that while we had the most best and most effective operators and small teams in the world, we were unable to scale.

The reality is when you make 'America First' a bumper sticker and pump it overseas, what you're telling them is 'America Only'.